June 2011
Sublimation + Repetition compulsion + Aporia = My entire existence summed up in 3 psychological terms :D
Frozen.
Trembling alone beneath the surface.
I bang on the barriers of my skin to no avail.
I can feel that familiar smile curling, The stretch of what were once my arms reaching out…
Lost behind autopilot.
There is a malfunction, can anyone help me?
Can anyone hear me?
SOS.
Gentle laughter is eminating from my vessel.
I feel my hair being pushed back from hungry eyes.
Prowling, cannibalistic…
...
"Shall we?"
I am haunted by the memory of that night.
The words won’t stop echoing in my head…
“Shall we?”
Frozen with fear and muted by alchohol…
Staring, wide eyed at what you held in your hand.
A small, off blue square…
Even in the drunken dizzy spin of my bedroom, I knew the familiar packaging.
I tried to open my mouth to scream. To plead. Even just to say no.
But...
I wonder...
If you’ll ever know how much you truly mean to me.
“Free love? As if love is anything but free! Man has bought brains, but all the...”
waldosia
dictionaryofobscuresorrows:
n. [Brit. wallesia] a condition characterized by scanning faces in a crowd looking for a specific person who would have no reason to be there, which is your brain’s way of checking to see whether they’re still in your life, subconsciously patting its emotional pockets before it leaves for the day.
