Delirium

Photo

Mon, 20 May 2013 23:30:24 -0400

postapocalypticfashion: I think we’ve had a few of these on...

Mon, 20 May 2013 12:55:53 -0400

postapocalypticfashion:

I think we’ve had a few of these on before but whatever; always plague doctor masks…

lovequotesrus: EVERYTHING LOVE

Mon, 20 May 2013 12:55:50 -0400

lovequotesrus:

EVERYTHING LOVE

Photo

Mon, 20 May 2013 12:55:44 -0400

Photo

Mon, 20 May 2013 12:55:38 -0400

Photo

Mon, 20 May 2013 12:55:18 -0400

adistantrose: the thing you need to know about me is that i will ship the doctor/rose always. and i...

Mon, 20 May 2013 12:49:58 -0400

adistantrose:

the thing you need to know about me is that i will ship the doctor/rose always. and i refuse to feel bad about it.

Pistachios.

Mon, 20 May 2013 12:32:21 -0400

I remember, as a child, my favorite thing to do was sit in the early morning spring fog of the Jones Beach boardwalk, fumbling to crack pistachios in my tiny hands. I remember the beach being desolate, the sun barely risen in the sky as the cool mist chilled my face.

I remember, as a child, collecting the bodies of cicadas who had passed on. I picked them up, fearlessly, marveling at all their beauty. I kept them in a zip lock bag, in a pine box, on top of the television.

I had no revulsion for the dead at all, in fact. No fear of passing on. I remember petting the head of a wounded rabbit by my swing set, singing to it as it died. I remember digging it a tiny grave behind a tree, and marking it with a headstone made of plywood. My mother cried for its death as I smiled for its peace.

I remember how dearly I loved the creatures rejected by my family. Every night I would press my face to the glass of our back door, squealing in delight as I watched raccoons scamper over the porch in search of food. I remember loudly thanking god for them in my prayers nightly. I loved raccoons.

I remember being the only six year old girl sitting in Starbucks with my nose pressed into a copy of the New York Times. “She isn’t really reading it, she just likes the pictures” my mother would say. “Israel is having trouble with the Palestinians!” I’d say defiantly over my mug of steamed milk.

I remember being enthralled by classical music. I remember skipping around my house singing an annoying, childish rendition of ‘une belle di’. It was my favorite aria. I remember seamlessly proclaiming the difference between the same song covered by Domingo or Pavarotti.

I remember reading. I never stopped reading. You couldn’t pull my face out of a copy of Dante’s Inferno if you bribed me with all of the Nutella sandwiches or pastina in the world.

These, and so many more, are all traits that have been so systematically destroyed and rejected over the years, that I’m not sure how much of me is left hanging by a thread. I have hidden, compromised, squeezed and pressed myself into molds of what my peers wanted me to be, or believed I should be for so long, that only now do I realize how long it’s been since I did something that I love, just for me. No ones ever wanted to see my world. No ones ever been interested in being a part of what I love. People have only been interested in fitting me into theirs. Whether that be parents, friends, family, or lovers— it’s always been like this. In the few instances that I’ve had the chance, seen the potential to show someone who I am in my world— I’ve been too depressed, too frightened, too wounded to believe they’d actually want to see it. And so, like a snared animal, I’ve growled, mamed, knashed, and fooled away the few people I had who could have actually cared into believing that there’s no more to me than what I’ve made them believe.

Once, just once, I’d love for someone— not to analyze me, or try to figure me out— not to obsess over every action I take—

But to just

Sit with me, in the 5am fog, cracking pistachios. Look at me as how I am, not what they want or need me to be. I want someone to sit with me, as me, and be nothing but their unabridged self. No judgement. Just identity, unrelinquished to the world.

Just one friend.

Photo

Mon, 20 May 2013 09:00:27 -0400

Photo

Mon, 20 May 2013 08:56:13 -0400

goodbye, ponds

Mon, 20 May 2013 08:55:32 -0400

goodbye, ponds

evilgh0st: childhoodphobia: Well thats scary as fuck omg

Mon, 20 May 2013 08:55:19 -0400

evilgh0st:

childhoodphobia:

Well thats scary as fuck

omg

Photo

Mon, 20 May 2013 08:51:00 -0400

50 questions, 50 ways to get to know me.

Mon, 20 May 2013 08:50:52 -0400

1: What would you name your future daughter?
2: Do you miss anyone?
3: What if I told you that you were pretty?
4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”?
5: What are you looking forward to in the next week?
6: Did you go out or stay in last night?
7: How late did you stay up last night?
8: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months?
9: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon?
10: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it?
11: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?
12: Have you pretended to like someone?
13: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?
14: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
15: Is it hard for you to get over someone?
16: Think back five months ago, were you single?
17: Have you ever cried from being so mad?
18: Hold hands with anyone this week?
19: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?
20: Who did you last see in person?
21: What is the last thing you said out lot?
22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night?
23: Have you ever been to Paris?
24: Are you good at hiding your feelings?
25: Do you use chap stick?
26: Who did you last share a bed with?
27: Are you listening to music right now?
28: What is something you currently want right now?
29: Were your last three kisses from the same person?
30: How is your heart lately?
31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?
32: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?
33: What do people call you?
34: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t?
35: Are there any stressful situations in your life?
36: What are you listening to right now?
37: What is wrong with you right now?
38: Love really is a beautiful thing huh?
39: Do you make wishes at 11:11?
40: What is on your wrists right now?
41: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused/waiting for the unexpected?
42: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing?
43: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?
44: Have you hugged someone within the last week?
45: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days?
46: What were you doing at midnight last night?
47: Do you miss the way things were six months ago?
48: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?
49: Have you ever been to New York?
50: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

Photo

Mon, 20 May 2013 08:50:24 -0400

I died saving him. In return, he saved me to a database in the...

Mon, 20 May 2013 08:48:23 -0400

I died saving him. In return, he saved me to a database in the biggest library in the universe. Left me like a book on a shelf. Didn’t even say goodbye. He doesn’t like endings

swaguar: amoying: imagine a world where all living beings coexist with each other, like you go to...

Mon, 20 May 2013 08:48:15 -0400

swaguar:

amoying:

imagine a world where all living beings coexist with each other, like you go to the market and a bear is packing your groceries. You drive home and you see tulips playing soccer, that’s the world i wanna live in.

maybe try lsd

Oh my god Rebecca Black recommending LSD, day made

blackpaint20: by David Lupton

Mon, 20 May 2013 08:47:24 -0400

blackpaint20:

by David Lupton

doctorwho: Matt Smith from the Doctor Who: The Name of the...

Mon, 20 May 2013 08:46:21 -0400

doctorwho:

Matt Smith from the Doctor Who: The Name of the Doctor Inside Look

dichotomization: An ectopic pregnancy is a complication of...

Sun, 19 May 2013 22:22:41 -0400

dichotomization:

An ectopic pregnancy is a complication of pregnancy in which the embryo implants outside the uterine cavity. An ectopic pregnancy is a potential medical emergency, and, if not treated properly, can lead to death.